One of the most fascinating discoveries of the nineteenth century archeological expeditions in Mesopotamia was the legend of Gilgamesh, perhaps the first superhero of any civilization. Written on cuneiform tablets which had survived for about five thousand years, the story tells of a man born with every conceivable gift who eventually becomes the ruler of a great city.

But there are problems nearby. A wild creature, Enkidu, is devastating the countryside round about. The citizens prevail upon Gilgamesh to find Enkidu, fight him, and defeat him. When Gilgamesh finds Enkidu, a terrible battle ensues. And at its climax Gilgamesh looks closely at Enkidu, and recognizes who this creature is. It is himself -- it is his own primitive self, wild and untamed; and Gilgamesh knows he must embrace Enkidu rather than destroy him if he is to be a complete person.

Step 10 is not an endlessly repeated cycle, of messing up yet again, making restitution, and vowing to do better in the future. Step 10 takes us, not around and around, but downwards, into ourselves. By watching ourselves, listening to ourselves, every moment, we become aware of who we are -- and who we are is not necessarily going to be pleasant all the time. The struggle to be free of our darker instincts is ongoing, but it is a struggle that can only be won when we pause at some point to think rather than act. Then we can see that there is only one way to come to terms with who we really are. We must accept those darker elements in our makeup as willingly as we accept those things that we believe to be good. As the Step 7 prayer says:

"I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad ...."