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Thinking and being aware

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A friend in Program says:

Our Western way of thought is influenced strongly by the thinking of a Frenchman over three hundred years ago. Puzzled by the apparent lack of evidence for his own very existence, he embarked on a path of philosophical doubt, finally concluding that one thing he could not doubt was that he was doubting. And if he was doubting, there must be someone there who was doing the doubting. In other words: I think, therefore I am.

As we practice Steps 10, 11 and 12, we start to see that this thinker was only too correct. When I am not doing those Steps, I'm thinking, I'm worrying, I'm hoping, I'm fearing, and I identify completely with those thoughts -- they become who I am, they are who I am. Yet when I watch myself moment by moment in Step 10; when I meditate and pray in Step 11; when I forget myself in the carrying of the message and the practicing of the principles of the program in Step 12 -- "I" seem to disappear. Paradoxically, as I become aware, I seem to lose myself. I can no longer distinguish as clearly between "I" and other people, between "I" and the rest of the universe. When I think, I am; when I become aware, I become at the same time one with everything else.

"The spiritual life is never one of achievement:
it is always one of letting go."

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