I belong to a close-knit OA community. Recently one of our members fell seriously ill and had three consecutive operations. We were asked at the end of each OA meeting to pray for him. The other day the secretary of the group announced that he was well on his way to recovery, and added, "So it seems that our prayers have been answered." The other members nodded in agreement.

When things like this happen, I feel the huge distance between me and my OA friends. I simply don't understand what they're talking about. Are our prayers simply requests to God that he should organize his universe a particular way? Is the "success" of prayer determined by whether we get what we want? If God doesn't give us what we ask for, does that mean that our prayers are "unanswered"?

I've wrestled too long with this issue against the background of my practice of Steps 10, 11 and 12. And I've reached my conclusion, which is this: The idea that prayers are answered or unanswered is quite simply nonsense -- nonsense which, if I accept it, makes a travesty of the spiritual life I am nowadays trying to lead. God is not some gigantic Santa Claus in the sky who arbitrarily answers or doesn't answer prayer. We don't get our way if we incessantly nag him, whatever Luke 18:1-5 may say.

So do I still pray? Yes, I do. Why? Because Program tells me to. What do I ask for? The knowledge of God's will and the power to carry it out.