One of the most famous stories of all time, retold by a great English dramatist and a German romantic among others, deals with a doctor who wants to know and understand everything. The deal he makes with the representative of the Devil will give him all he wants in exchange for his soul. Ultimately he discovers the hollowness of his bargain, and watches the last few minutes of his life tick away knowing he is doomed eternally.

Little to do with us who are in recovery, we might think. Yet our pursuit of Steps 10, 11 and 12 reveals all too often that the surrender we supposedly made when we took Step 3 was in fact an attempt on our part to make a contract with God as we understood God. Instead of handing our will and our lives over to the power of God, we had attempted instead to forge some sort of unholy alliance, where God would help us to gain the results that we wanted. Of course, our goals were much nobler than those of the desperate doctor. All we wanted was our health and the health of our family, a good job with a reasonable paycheck, happiness for our children ....

Steps 10, 11 and 12 teach us anew that there is no bargaining with God. The surrender of Step 3 must be unconditional. Some of us learn through very hard lessons that Program comes with no guarantee of anything other than a spiritual challenge. The death of a loved one, the loss of all we own, drive some of us back into the arms of the very addictions we thought we had escaped. Or -- if we are lucky -- they push us to explore the real meaning of Program in a humble and honest practice of the last three Steps.