Unless you are an ageing addict, the chances are that you have never heard of John Powell. He was a Jesuit priest who worked at Loyola University during the 1970's, and he wrote several books which would now be designated as "self-help," although it's clear Powell himself thought there was no such thing. The best-known titles were The Secret of Staying in Love (which had nothing to do with staying in love) and Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?.

Jesuits are the intellectual thoroughbreds of the Catholic Church, but Powell's books were deceptively simple to read. A theme he would constantly bring up is that it is impossible for an intimate couple to have any kind of discussion unless it's preceded by dialog. Discussion is the exchange of information, views, preferences, etc. Dialog can be only one thing: an exchange of how each person feels. Powell maintained that unless a couple first talk about how they feel, any discussion they have will be colored by those feelings, and the interchange will probably go wrong.

Step 10 suggests that we have that Powell-like dialog with ourselves. Day by day, minute by minute, unless we ask ourselves constantly how we feel about what is happening around us, we'll get ourselves into trouble. When we don't know how we feel, those feelings take over, and when they do, that's when we make the angry remark, the cutting comment, the sarcastic rejoinder. But it's not just these very obvious unpleasant behaviors that arise. More often that not, we don't respond to what is happening around us -- we suppress it, work it into a little resentment, and then carry it around to nurse in secret ... and now it's infecting everything we do and say.

Dialog with ourselves is what Step 10 is all about. Absent that dialog, we'll get into trouble just as surely as Powell's intimate couples do.

Information on John Powell is hard to find on the Web, though the books mentioned above can be found at on-line bookstores. Since this site is in part about addiction, it may be worth mentioning that in his later years Father Powell was accused of sexual abuse during the 60's and 70's. No charges were filed, but Father Powell appears to have admitted the abuse. Settlements have been given to at least some of the victims.