The guilt we bring into Program with us can persist for many years. From the outside, there can be little to distinguish those of us who work the Steps joyfully, with a sense of release from the burden of the past, from those of us who work them fearfully, convinced that only unwavering adherence to Program can protect us from the just retribution of a vengeful God -- a God who may visit upon us at any moment a punishment for all the things we did wrong and still do wrong.

Those of us who suffer from these feelings of guilt despite years in an active recovery program often draw back from a dedicated attempt to work Steps 10, 11 and 12. The problem for us can often be that -- however unhappy we may be in our ongoing fear of a punishing God -- we have become comfortable with the very unpleasantness of our guilt-ridden lives. However awful things may be, they might be a great deal worse if we submit ourselves to a regime where we may end up with even less security.

For all of us, the path to Steps 10, 11 and 12 only opens when our present way of living our program becomes too terrible to bear. Those of us that have begun to practice the last three Steps, particularly Step 11, have found that no guilt-based view of ourselves can long survive the honest attempt to follow a spiritual path without preconditions. For those of us still handicapped with guilt, these Steps are the gateway to a life of loving communion with our fellow-practitioners and with a God who accepts and embraces us just the way we are.