One of the very few 12-Step programs that changed the Twelve Steps themselves had the following as its Second Step:

We found it was necessary to stick with the winners in order to grow.

(For the mathematically inclined among us, this additional Step was compensated for by combining the regular Sixth and Seventh Steps.)

Even if we don't regard this as a Step in its own right, we have heard the saying countless times, particularly in our early days in Program. It can come as a shock, therefore, to realize that practicing this saying is a fundamental part of working the last three Steps.

Those Steps are difficult enough to work thoroughly and meaningfully even with the support of other people who are doing the same thing. If we attempt to work them alone, or if we spend by choice a substantial amount of time around people who don't, can't, or won't work them, we're simply making our task harder. When we first came into recovery, we were warned that if we hung around people who were still in their addiction, one day we'd go back to the old ways. Surely much the same thinking must apply to sincere working of the last three Steps. If we choose to be with people who have never heard of these Steps, or -- even worse -- know of them, claim to do them, and yet ignore them, then in all likelihood one day we too will slip back to the old ways.

It's a paradox of recovery that we need to maintain a safe distance from these one-time friends, while still following the suggestion of the Twelfth Step that we "carry this message to others." But there is a world of difference between carrying the message to people on the one hand and -- on the other -- staying around those people when they show no inclination to listen to what we have to say.