Several friends in my 12-Step program had told me of a Buddhist weekend course that I might enjoy, so I signed up. We were free for lunch on the second day, so I accepted the invitation of another attendee to join him for lunch at a Mexican restaurant a short distance away.

He seemed to like talking, so I let him. I'd mentioned camping, so he told me I should buy a gun to protect myself. He seemed to be an expert on several subjects, from martial arts to breathing properly, and he told me all about them. He told me he was a geologist, and that finding further reserves of fossil fuel was the only hope for the West. He told me he was married, but it was a "fairly open relationship" and he didn't feel that he was "on a leash." He asked me I if was a member of the Buddhist center where the course was being held. I said No, I wasn't -- I was a Christian. He told me he was a member, and that he meditated there several times a week.

Now, I'm a big believer in meditation, and I do it every day. But I recalled, as we walked back from lunch, a conversation I'd had with an old friend in Program earlier in the week. He listened to my enthusiastic babble about meditation and then said, "Well, my take is that the last three Steps should march hand in hand. Meditation is important, but it isn't everything, you know." And I'd been hurt.

Now, in the presence of my "Buddhist" companion with the guns, the open marriage, and the passion for oil, I could see what my friend had been saying. Too often I criticize my friends in Al-Anon, but there is one thing that most of them have right. And that is that they don't merely say what they believe, they practice it in their lives. They believe, but they also do what they believe. They don't just do Step 11. They do Steps 10 and 12 as well.