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This Way of Living
Working Steps 10, 11, and 12.
Building a personal practice.
Creating a small group practice.

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You wanted to find:  Step 10 
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... The paragraph that deals with doing Step 10 uses the word continue or some variation of it four times ...

... We deal with fear by doing Step 10. We try not to deal with it by thinking ourselves out of it, or by talking to an expert, or by doing something to distract us, or any one of a thousand other things that ordinary people do when they're afraid. We just do Step 10 and we ask for the fear to be removed ...

... We've learned that, when we've done Step 10, it's best for us to do Step 1 ...

... We do Step 11 to determine what our Higher Power wants us to do, and for the strength to do it. We try to do this whenever we've done Step 10 ...

... Practicing Step 10 "continually" by ourselves ...

... We do Step 10, just as it's described on page 84 of the AA Big Book. Some of us do it once a day. Some of us do it twice a day. Some of us do it several times during the day. There are short and long versions of the practice of Step 10 (and Step 11) elsewhere on this site ...

... Practicing Step 10 in small private groups ...

... Some of us get together at least once a week, either face-to-face or online, to practice Step 10. But we don't do this in large groups, and generally speaking we don't do it in a 12-Step meeting. We talk here about why this is the case, and about how we do Step 10 in our small private groups ...

... Just as with Step 10, some of us get together at least once a week, either face-to-face or online, to practice Step 11 (actually, we work Steps 10 and 11 in the same meeting) ...

... Again, we don't do this in large groups, or (with a few exceptions) in a 12-Step meeting. There are many 12-Step meditation meetings across the country, and they work well for some members of 12-Step groups. But we have found that doing Step 11 without first doing Step 10 doesn't work too well for us, and - as we said - we have also found that Step 10 is usually best done in a small group or community. We describe here how we do this ...

... So we learn to be rigorously honest about all our fears when we do Step 10 by ourselves. And when it comes to doing Step 10 in a group, we prefer small private groups or a very small 12-Step meeting, because of the trust and intimacy we find there ...

... In our experience, doing Step 10 exactly as the AA Big Book suggests works best. You'll find its suggestions about halfway down page 84, from Continue to watch to the end of the paragraph. We've found these suggestions suitable for practicing this Step on our own and within small private groups ...

... Here is a version of Step 10 from one 12-Step fellowship. We call this the "long version" and it includes the practice of Step 11. And here is a short version that takes only a couple of minutes. Some of us do the long version in the morning and/or at night, and the short version throughout the day ...

... Why we do Step 10 when we're afrai ...

... The main purpose of Step 10 is to rid ourselves of fear - not for ever, but right here and right now. Instead of trying to manipulate the world and everyone in it, we simply give in - we surrender completely. We ask for the fear (and the resentment and the selfishness and the dishonesty) to be removed, and we discuss these things with someone. We describe elsewhere how we do Step 10, alone or in small private groups ...

... That's why our practice always starts with Step 10 ...

... If we're always right here and and it's always right now, it follows that Step 10 can only remove the fear that we feel right here and right now. That is no real limitation, because it's always now and we're always here ...

... Step 10 enables us to deal with the first problem - right here and right now ...

... If we do Step 10 right here and now, and if our fears are removed right here and right now, then fear has ceased to be a problem right here and right now ...

... Step 11 offers the solution to the second and third problems. Once we have done Step 10 and the fear has been removed (or lessened), we can use the various suggestions on pages 86-87 of the Big Book to find out what we should do and where to get the strength to do it. Actually doing it is what Step 12 is really all about ...

... Step 10 is primarily intended to help us deal with our fear. The Big Book tells us that fear, if it is allowed free rein, leads to resentment, and to selfish and dishonest behavior ...

... It follows that - if we don't do Step 10 first - it's more likely that our prayer and meditation will be influenced by our fears. To some degree at least, we will meditate or pray in order to get what we want, or to avoid what we don't want. We'll be meditating in the hope that it will make our fears go away. That's getting things backwards ...

... We have discovered that the purpose of Step 10 is not to immunize us against fear. It is to deal with our fears when they arise ...

... Doing Step 10 before Step 1 ...

... Comparatively few people in 12-Step programs do Step 10 before they pray or meditate. We have found that, if we don't work Step 10 first - that is, before we pray or meditate - we end up praying or meditating with an agenda ... and that is rarely a good thing ...

... Step 10 firs ...

... Our practice of Steps 10 and 11 is a spiritual practice. It is not about self-improvement, a better self-image, a positive outlook on life. It is about removing our fears (Step 10), asking our Higher Power for guidance and strength (Step 11), and then doing what that Higher Power suggests (Step 12) ...

... For us, Step 12 is simply the natural result of working Steps 10 and 11. In Step 10 we ask whatever Higher Power we may have to remove the fear that distorts our view of ourselves, of other people, and of the world. In Step 11, we ask that same Higher Power what we should do, and for the power to do it ...

... This can only be done wholeheartedly in a situation of trust. That is why our attempts to do Step 10 in large 12-Step meetings can be unsatisfactory. We may be sitting next to a complete stranger, and we may quite understandably be reluctant to talk about our mistakes and our fears with someone we don't know. In small private groups, trust comes more easily ...

... The discussion part of Step 10 does not involve the offering or receiving of advice. After all, we practice Steps 10 and 11 constantly because we don't know what we should do ourselves, much less what other people should do. So the discussion consists in sharing our feelings, and then listening while the other person shares his or her feelings ...

... When we do Step 10 with other people, why don't we do it in a 12-Step meeting ...

... In small private groups, it's possible to find the trust and intimacy that must accompany the working of Step 10 ...

... We do Step 10 by ourselves as a constant practice, just as the AA Big Book suggests on page 84. But part of Step 10 is the discussion of our selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear with someone else. Obviously, if we need to do this part of the Step, we have to interact with another person ...

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