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This Way of Living
Working Steps 10, 11, and 12.
Building a personal practice.
Creating a small group practice.

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... We've learned, when we are afraid, to do Step 1 ...

... We deal with fear by doing Step 10. We try not to deal with it by thinking ourselves out of it, or by talking to an expert, or by doing something to distract us, or any one of a thousand other things that ordinary people do when they're afraid. We just do Step 10 and we ask for the fear to be removed ...

... Most of us use these from time to time so that we can weasel out of saying "I'm afraid." Instead, we say "I'm a little concerned about ...." or "This has been on my mind recently ...." or "I've been noticing that .... ...

... Weasel words are code for "Actually, I am afraid, but it's something I can manage on my own, and I'm certainly not going to humiliate myself by talking about it. ...

... It can sometimes be difficult - occasionally it can be impossible - to admit that we are afraid. A common habit is using elaborate language in order to avoid the words fear or afraid ...

... Let's begin with those of us who say we are never afraid. We are usually men - men who like to think that we are "real men." When we say "I'm never afraid," what we actually mean is, "I am so full of fear that I'm even afraid to say I'm afraid. ...

... For us members who practice Steps 10 and 11 constantly, the statement "I'm never afraid" is the password to a life of ongoing fear and misery ... even to a possible death sentence ...

... If you are starting to suspect that - like us - you need to practice Steps 10 and 11 constantly, you may like to ask yourself if you are afraid right now, or how often you are afraid. If the answer is No or Never or Rarely, you may want to read this ...

... When members like us are afraid (or resentful, which is simply fear that we blame on someone or something other than ourselves), two kinds of behavior follow. We become dishonest, and we become selfish. Both of these are the result of trying to make those fears go away using our own resources ...

... We are dishonest with other people. We tell them things that aren't really true, because we are afraid that otherwise we won't get what we want, or we'll lose something that we have ...

... But when we are afraid, memory and imagination cease to be friends and become enemies ...

... When we are afraid, we can't control memory and imagination. They start to control us ...

... Of course, we are tempted to reply, "But I'm not afraid of what's happening right here and right now. I'm afraid of what's going to happen next week. ...

... We're afraid, and we don't know how to make that fear go away ...

... Even if we weren't afraid, we wouldn't know what to do ...

... Of course, we are tempted to reply, "But I'm not afraid of what's happening right here and right now. I'm afraid of what's going to happen next week. ...

... We're afraid, and we don't know how to make that fear go away ...

... Even if we weren't afraid, we wouldn't know what to do ...

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