ss=box>... We think that's why the AA Big Book says we do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves ...

ss=box>... We think that's why the AA Big Book says every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities ... These are thoughts which must go with us constantly ...

ss=box>... We've learned that, when we've done Step 10, it's best for us to do Step 1 ...

ss=box>... We believe we can be shown all through the day what our next step is to be. We think that's why the Big Book suggests, when we may not be able to determine which course to take ... we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision ...

ss=box>... For us, this is not a supplement to the way "ordinary people" live their lives. It's a replacement ...

ss=box>... Now let's talk about what did work for us ...

ss=box>... We do Step 10, just as it's described on page 84 of the AA Big Book. Some of us do it once a day. Some of us do it twice a day. Some of us do it several times during the day. There are short and long versions of the practice of Step 10 (and Step 11) elsewhere on this site ...

ss=box>... Most of us do this with someone at least once a week, over coffee or a meal, or at one another's homes. We can also do it in a one-on-one video session, but we prefer face-to-face where possible ...

ss=box>... Let's begin with what didn't work for us ...

ss=box>... Dr. Bob's Nightmar ...

ss=box>... The Doctor's Opinio ...

ss=box>... Chapter 1: Bill's Stor ...

ss=box>... Weasel words are code for "Actually, I am afraid, but it's something I can manage on my own, and I'm certainly not going to humiliate myself by talking about it. ...

ss=box>... Let's begin with those of us who say we are never afraid. We are usually men - men who like to think that we are "real men." When we say "I'm never afraid," what we actually mean is, "I am so full of fear that I'm even afraid to say I'm afraid. ...

ss=box>... It's the natural result of working Steps 10 and 11. As we have continued to practice them, we've found that Step 12 happens all by itself ...

ss=box>... That's why our practice always starts with Step 10 ...

ss=box>... We have found that our practice of the last three Steps is like an anti-time machine without any wheels. Wherever we we work these Steps, we're always here. Whenever we work these Steps, it's always now. Right here and right now ...

ss=box>... If we're always right here and and it's always right now, it follows that Step 10 can only remove the fear that we feel right here and right now. That is no real limitation, because it's always now and we're always here ...

ss=box>... Of course, we are tempted to reply, "But I'm not afraid of what's happening right here and right now. I'm afraid of what's going to happen next week. ...

ss=box>... Quite true, perhaps. But we are worrying about next week right here and right now. We're not worrying about next week next week, because it's not next week yet - it's right here and right now ...

ss=box>... Of course, we are tempted to reply, "But I'm not afraid of what's happening right here and right now. I'm afraid of what's going to happen next week. ...

ss=box>... Quite true, perhaps. But we are worrying about next week right here and right now. We're not worrying about next week next week, because it's not next week yet - it's right here and right now ...

ss=box>... It follows that - if we don't do Step 10 first - it's more likely that our prayer and meditation will be influenced by our fears. To some degree at least, we will meditate or pray in order to get what we want, or to avoid what we don't want. We'll be meditating in the hope that it will make our fears go away. That's getting things backwards ...

ss=box>... In regular 12-Step meetings, by contrast, some people are inclined to offer advice, even if that's done using crosstalk. In our experience, neither crosstalk nor advice is useful in our practice of Steps 10 and 11 ...

ss=box>... In small private groups or in one-on-one interactions, it's possible to find the trust and intimacy that must accompany the working of Step 10 ...