This Way of Living

Working Steps 10, 11, and 12.
Building a personal practice.
Creating a small group practice.

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You wanted to find:  dishonest • dishonesty 
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... When we're selfish and dishonest, we are trying to create a world that doesn't really exist - a world that will look the way we want it to look, rather than the way that it really is. Having created it, we try to live in it. The result - inevitably - is more fear, because the real world keeps intruding and spoiling our fantasy world. And then that fear leads in turn to more selfishness and more dishonesty ...

... The main purpose of Step 10 is to rid ourselves of fear - not for ever, but right here and right now. Instead of trying to manipulate the world and everyone in it, we simply give in - we surrender completely. We ask for the fear (and the resentment and the selfishness and the dishonesty) to be removed, and we discuss these things with someone. We describe elsewhere how we do Step 10, alone or in small private groups ...

... When members like us are afraid (or resentful, which is simply fear that we blame on someone or something other than ourselves), two kinds of behavior follow. We become dishonest, and we become selfish. Both of these are the result of trying to make those fears go away using our own resources ...

... Selfishness and dishonest ...

... We are dishonest with other people. We tell them things that aren't really true, because we are afraid that otherwise we won't get what we want, or we'll lose something that we have ...

... Step 10 is primarily intended to help us deal with our fear. The Big Book tells us that fear, if it is allowed free rein, leads to resentment, and to selfish and dishonest behavior ...

... We do Step 10 by ourselves as a constant practice, just as the AA Big Book suggests on page 84. But part of Step 10 is the discussion of our selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear with someone else. Obviously, if we need to do this part of the Step, we have to interact with another person ...

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