It can sometimes be hard to see the depths of our selfishness, even if we believe we are committed to the practice of the last three Steps.

Many of us are profoundly moved by the suffering we see in the world, and our emotional response prompts us to do what we can to change the external circumstances that bring about that suffering. In fact, this sort of thinking is so fundamental a part of secular humanism that it's very rarely questioned. Surely part of our job, as non-believing but nevertheless compassionate human beings, is to care for those who cannot care for themselves!

But the practice of Step 10 eventually reveals what is really going on here. At heart, the suffering that I am trying to relieve is my own, not that of other people. I am so moved by the suffering of others that I believe it to be the motivation for my "compassionate" actions. But the immediate motivation for my action is my pain, not theirs. I act because I find unbearable the personal pain of watching their pain.

Not for one moment does this mean that we are never drawn to relieve the suffering of others. We may indeed feel called to do it, but the call must come from our Higher Power, for reasons we do not and cannot understand. If, though, I feel impelled to act because of my hidden selfishness, because of my inability to live with my own sadness and distress at the plight of others, then I am still the old addict, believing that it is my job to change the world to meet my hopes and expectations.

It has been well said that this is one of the hardest lessons of Program.