After years of slipping and sliding, I was brought to my senses over the First Step by a new sponsor who rephrased it for me. I had denied that my life was unmanageable; and while I'm sure he didn't buy that for one moment, he nevertheless said, "All right -- it's not unmanageable, perhaps. But is it acceptable?" That simple question got me back into AA and into recovery, because regardless of the manageability of my life, it had long ago ceased to be acceptable.

This can be an excellent question to ask about our spiritual lives when we have spent some years in Program. Are our lives acceptable?

If we are not working Steps 10, 11 and 12 consistently and with commitment, the answer will probably be no. Underneath whatever trappings of success we may have encountered since starting our recovery, there will probably be an underlying sense of unease, a feeling that things are not quite right, a quiet but deep longing for a return of the peace that many of us felt during those early days in Program.

Our spiritual lives cannot be built on the repetition of the first nine Steps of our programs. Our attempts to cling to the old patterns of repeating the same problems over and over and trying to solve them with Steps 4 thru 9 are simply a means of avoiding the issue. They are a reflection of our fear of embarking on the uncertain and untested path that seems to be associated with the practice of the last three Steps. If we are this reluctant to move forward, it may help to ask ourselves: My present way of living may be manageable, but is it acceptable?