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An aching void

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A friend in Program says:

The subject of an eighteenth century poet's hymn is

... an aching void
The world can never fill.

The quotation is familiar -- not so the context. The poet is not talking about some broken romantic entanglement, nor the joys of childhood, but the memory of the early days of his salvation, and the happiness it brought. Here's the full stanza:

What peaceful hours I once enjoyed!
How sweet their memory still!
But they have left an aching void
The world can never fill.

When we start getting up into double-digit sobriety, we can sometimes feel the same way about our early days in Program. Things seemed so much simpler then; we were close to our companions in early recovery -- indeed, we have never forgotten them. Now, despite the successes we may have encountered since then in worldly terms, we seem to be left with a feeling of dissatisfaction. Deep down inside us is that aching void, and none of our successes are able to fill it.

The poet does offer a solution:

The dearest idol I have known,
Whate'er that idol be,
Help me to tear it from thy throne,
And worship only thee.

In Program terms, we need to revisit our Third Step commitment as we practice Step 11. The void comes from placing something or somebody ahead of our commitment to God as we understand God. Until we put that "idol" aside, there can be no filling the void. And we have to do that on our own -- nobody else, not even God, can do it for us.

"The spiritual life is never one of achievement:
it is always one of letting go."

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