There are people who just don't seem to able to stay sober. Most of us think that the reason is their failure to admit their powerlessness over their addiction - the first part of Step 1. In fact, the problem is more likely to be with the second part of Step 1. They don't fully understand how unmanageable their lives are.

If you ask recovering addicts why they go back out, they hardly ever tell you that they were walking down the street when suddenly, out of nowhere, came the overpowering urge to use again. Instead, they will tell you that something unexpected occurred, something they thought they would be able to handle: rejection by a friend, bad review at work, sudden expense to repair a car. It turned out to be too much for them; they were afraid; and then - to make the fear go away - they went back to their addiction.

The trigger here was not their actual addiction. It wasn't even the fear. It was their belief that they could manage some area of their lives that proved to be unmanageable. It was a failure to understand and accept the second part of Step 1.

The practice of the last three Steps is at root a revisiting of the First Step. We watch for the fear and ask for it to be removed in Step 10, and in Step 11 we ask our Higher Power what we should do. This is an acknowledgment of the unmanageability of our lives. It's not the addiction that takes us back out: it's our unavailing attempts to manage our own lives.